Swine Flu

Wake Up People: Swine Flu is a Human Epidemic Affecting Privileged White People

Many of my contacts have perhaps heard recently that it was a so-called “pig” who was infected with H1N1. JTDD is one of my contacts who has been spreading the word because she's afraid her little one -- my favorite new human -- might make accidental contact with a Pig -- on the way to the market no doubt! That victimized Pig was – in point of fact -- infected by an odious, nose-dripping, snot-ridden human swine being. Please tell me good friends, what is this thing you all do that is called “Coughing”? It is nothing other than the utterly disgusting talent that human beings have for killing other sentient beings because they don't know how to use a hankie? Dear Leader, where are you when we need you?

Turns out, that the poor pig who caught what the porcine community calls “human swine virus” actually lives in Minnesota! Let's hope that my ne’re do well friend Matthew Duffy did not sneeze the unrelenting remains of his incontinent nasal cavity all over some poor and barren barroom piggy! BTW: Matthew is known to hang out with brazen and sordid sods who reside like doormats in bars all over the greater Minneapolis-St. Paul-Duluth-Saint Cloud-Eden Prairie-und-Blaine Wilderness Statistical Region.

His best friend, another sod, whose name is I think is “Stickus Dickus,” – a Pig Latin expression for something of which I know not how “to facebook” -- is also a notorious human whore to his base senses. He is known to consort with mail order human swine on Thursday afternoons in a Chicago bar named “Duffy’s.” Can you f'ing believe that?

Beware! These are humans without virtue or conscience. Liberal arts schools produce them by the hundreds every year now. It was different when they had to do some farming in addition to the intellectual work. Boinking replaced oinking and disease followed. Pigs have nothing to do with the mess we're in today, from crotch to cranium.

This hullabaloo about H1N1 is amoozing -- as funny as learning that more people die in one year in Los Angeles from cirrhosis of the liver that have died from the start of the flu epidemic. Shut up, Dear Reader: I actually find it funny. California sods! Swine flu is the new peanut allergy, which is the new autism, which is the reigning excuse for public rudeness and general behavioral ugliness. Oh, and thanks Mr. Prez for signing a "proclamation" declaring the H1N1 influenza is a national emergency. That'll scare all those little flu buggies away!

It's all part of the long cultural out-gassing from America's benign and spineless middle class. Thank God, I am a veritable Pig!! Long live the true swine of the earth for they shall inherit the trough! In the meantime, here's an idea for what you could think of doing if you don't feel well. Instead of sneezing and coughing into your sopping wet elbow, take a fistful of Advil and fucking go to bed. Sicko!

-- PC